Post-Abortive Women Share Their Stories
A personal note from Sydna Masse
My book Her Choice to Heal has my entire testimony relayed throughout it’s contents. If you are hurting, I would highly recommend that you consider ordering a copy from Ramah’s Resources, Amazon.com, or through your local bookstore. The publisher is Chariot/Victor, Colorado Springs, CO.
Here is one letter that beautifully shows how the Lord can use this book to help your heart:
“It was such a pleasure to share with you about Pas and I want to thank you for taking the time with me. I shortly after we spoke my mother passed away, and the mourning process is indeed a process. I feel like I am just starting to readjust my life and one of those readjustments is picking up where I left of in dealing with my abortion.
I remember I had relayed a story to you about my mom having dementia at times and her saying over and over to me one afternoon, “page 44 and page 100.” I was in the midst of complete emotional turmoil as the light had just “come on” two or three weeks before regarding my seeing the truth abortion. I was reading your book, Her Choice to Heal, at that time – which I am reading for the forth time now! Anyway, she kept saying “page44 and page 100.” I had not yet finished the book, in fact, I was on page 42 or 43, so I turned back and I looked at page 44. It talks about the nightmare and the anger.
Then I remembered when my own death dreams started – shortly after the abortion. Violent, horrible dreams – they persisted for years. I felt tortured by them. And my anger. I just thought it was my nature, or that I am just like my mom. It never occurred to me that I was so angry with myself. Angry that I did not have the emotional strength to stand up to anyone who would persecute me about being pregnant. A key factor in my past rage was that I hated myself for having aborted my child.
Then I turned to page 100.
Let me say this first – by this time I had been facing the abortion and PAS for roughly 2-3 weeks. I felt that my baby was a boy, but I wanted to pick a name that would be good for either a boy or a girl. I was asking about names. I was leaning toward the name Jesse, but not quite sure. This was, as you know, a tremendous issue. I was at last naming my child after 23 years! And it was August. It was exactly around the time my child would have been born in 1976.
When I turned to page 100, I read about the pregnant woman who was prayed for by you n. She did not have the abortion. She named her son Jesse, having no idea you had named your own son Jesse. As you said, it was like the Lord told you at that moment that your son had not died in vain and this Jesse would live to be a constant reminder of that fact. Well, my questions and prayers were answered. My son at last has a name – Jesse Adam.
And my mother who had been sick for 20 years and was about to die – and whose mind was “gone” a good deal of her last years – helped me have peace with naming my child. That was a particularly sweet gift.
I do not know what else to say or write, but I know that you know how I feel, and for that I am so grateful. The sharing of feelings, pain, secrets and healing in the book has changed my life.
I thank God for you and your book.