Perhaps you already have taken a “home pregnancy test” and it was positive. It could be that you are not really pregnant. We recommend that you visit a local pregnancy center to get a blood or urine pregnancy test to confirm you are really pregnant. They provide laboratory quality urine tests free of charge as a service to women. Many center also offer free ultrasound exams. All their services are free and confidential. To find a pregnancy center near you visit: Help In Your Area
They can also help you confirm your pregnancy with a doctor who doesn’t do abortions. It is possible that the abortion clinic may provide you with incorrect information in order to obtain your abortion fee. Carol Everett is a woman who used to provide abortion services in Texas. She testified in Congress that she sold abortions to women who were not pregnant but feared they were.
For the best medical input on abortion we recommend you speak with a medical professional that has nothing to gain in your abortion decision. We can refer or provide you with a free confidential medical exam and ultrasound from which the doctor can confirm pregnancy and answer any of your medically related questions.
A non-diagnostic ultrasound can tell you approximately how many weeks you are into the pregnancy. This service, provided by a certified sonographer, may aid you in making this important decision. Learn more about what a preborn child looks like.
Should you discover that you are actually pregnant, you do have choices. The following pages on our site will give you more information on your options:
Below is a message from a person who chose abortion. Perhaps it will provide you with some heartfelt information about how that choice can affect your future.
I’m not a medical doctor or a counselor — just a woman who chose abortion and lives today without that child in my life. Truly if there was one thing I could go back and undo in my life, it would be that abortion. I was 19 years of age and in college. I had all the wrong reasons but especially because my boyfriend wasn’t supportive of a life decision — he insisted on the abortion. While my head said abortion was the eraser to my mistake, my heart knew the truth because I had already connected to my unborn child. Had my boyfriend been supportive, I would probably have not aborted but I will never know. You have a true choice, more than I did and that provides a great deal of freedom. And I’m glad you are seeking answers to your questions before you abort.
First of all, abortion has an extreme amount of emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual consequences. The fact that 43% of all women have experienced abortion is a good reference (www.agi-usa.org – The Alan Guttmacher Institute, “Facts in Brief: Induced Abortion,” 2000). If nearly half of all women have had abortions, why is it that you never hear any of them sharing about their experiences?
I know from talking to thousands of post-abortive women that the shame and grief keeps them from sharing. We expect judgment from most. Many of us never allowed ourselves to actually grieve our lost children until years afterwards when we couldn’t erase the memory of the child from our hearts. While we may have initially felt relief, the forever pain of being the mothers of dead children has long outlasted any initial relief.
If you are pregnant then you are already a mother. This fact is done. By the time you discover you are pregnant, your child is fully formed with arms, legs, eyes, fingers, toes, etc. To learn more about his/her development and to see what he/she looks like, click here then click on “your first 9 months”. The only thing your child needs to do is get a little bigger.
But regardless of being already formed, she/he has already bonded with you internally. She/He is dependent on you already. You can reject him/her — that’s your legal right — but you will never forget him/her. She/He can feel pain now and will feel tremendous pain when your she/he is aborted. That is one fact that I still have trouble living with — and cry even now at the memory of the pain my child went through so I could live my life the way I wanted. There are thousands of tears on my pillow for my child — whom I later named Jesse — and I will never hold him this side of heaven. At least you will know more than I did when I made that choice. By the way, Jesse would be turning 22 soon. You never forget.
If you break up with your boyfriend, keep in mind that the man you want to marry will probably need to know you have had an abortion. One of the unexpected consequences of abortion was the fear that the man I wanted to marry wouldn’t want me because I was post-abortive. I was filled with fear and eventually ran full throttle into a promiscuous lifestyle. I smoked pot every day to suppress the memories of the abortion experience itself — a horribly painful process that put me into physical shock. When a nice man wanted to date me, I ran the other way because I felt he wouldn’t want me with this in my past. Finally, I met a man whom I loved and trusted, and I knew there was a possibility that he would love me anyway. Thankfully, he did and we have enjoyed many long years of marriage.
I can share with you about my own inability to get pregnant after Jesse’s death as well. I never realized that the abortion could make me unable to have a baby. Not only can women die during abortion procedures, but they can also be hurt incredibly. Why don’t you hear of these deaths? Because their family members don’t want to admit the person had an abortion. My doctor believed that my infertility was due to an incomplete abortion. Pieces of my child remained in my body and eventually blocked my fallopian tubes. I had to tell my husband that I might not get pregnant because of my abortion. That was my worst fear.
However, God intervened, and through a procedure they were able to unblock my tubes. I was pregnant 10 days later. But 16 weeks into the pregnancy, I felt a sharp stab of pain and then began to hemorrhage. We later discovered that this was also possibly due to my abortion. The abortion had weakened my uterine lining and the placenta had torn away – a condition called “placenta previa.” This is common in post-abortive women and could have caused me to bleed to death. The doctor said that either I would miscarry or the placenta would re-attach. Thankfully, my baby survived.
When they placed this child in my arms, I was overwhelmed with emotion. The love I felt towards him was totally unexpected. He was my son and part of me. I never expected those emotions. That was when my aborted child started to haunt me. It took me three years to finally come to a point where I could acknowledge Jesse to my heart and accept his death, at my hands, and mourn him. I was finally able to come to some peace, but there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t miss Jesse.
This center can help you in a variety of ways — for free! They can support you in many ways from providing maternity clothes, baby clothes and furniture, parenting classes, etc. All your dreams can still come true so you can have a hope for your future. They want to help.
Sydna A. Massé – E-mail Sydna