Is your spouse or partner is dealing with post abortion syndrome?
If your loved one is currently going through a difficult time relating to their abortion, and considering attending a post abortion ministry program, please be supportive. They are beginning a journey that at times will seem dark and endless, yet light; peace and joy are at the end of the journey.
Whether you were part of their abortion experience, or became involved with them later, your relationship is affected by this abortion. You too are bearing the consequences of the choice they made. They are different because of the experience. Their actions, reactions and attitudes are affected.
They have taken a big, frightening and important step in choosing this journey. There are several things you should be aware of and prepared to help them with in the weeks ahead.
Your spouse is opening an unhealed wound that has been covered a long time. If they attend a bible study program, they will be asked to think about, write about, and share about what are probably the deepest hurts they have ever experienced. When you are taking the covering off an unhealed wound, there is a lot of infection that has to drain out before healing can take place. There will be many tears, and, in all likelihood, lots of anger too. You can help them. Allow them to talk to you about their deepest emotions. Encourage them to share their feelings with you. Don’t let them try to cover them up again. Help them to be truthful and honest.
You may wonder, “why put them through all this pain?” You may feel it’s better to leave this pain alone – especially as you see them get worse before there’s a sign they will get better. For many, they say the memories are stuck in their throat and they can no longer swallow them. Their tears and expressions of anger can be cleansing. The journey is painful. It’s hard to look at our mistakes and sins; it’s hard to accept responsibility for our actions. It’s hard to give and receive forgiveness. Yet this is a journey to wholeness and it is necessary to walk it one step at a time!
Be patient with them – be compassionate. They need you more than ever. Most important of all, love them unconditionally. Support, protect, respect and love them. They need to know you will always be there for them that they can trust you and lean on you. They can share with you all their feelings of shame, guilt and grief and you will love them still.
Dear friend, know that we are praying for you too. At times the burden will be very heavy for you. Your loved one may lash out at you, may attempt to close you out, may demand or expect too much from you. Know God is with you and keeping your eyes on the end of the journey.
With their hard work – and God’s help – they will complete this journey with a peace and joy they have never known before. They will be a whole person who can love you at a greater level that you ever expected!